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Other Articles2012Quit Complaining2011Get an Internship2010Letter from BPG2009Do More!2008Relocating Advice |
Human Resources: Your Worst EnemyIf you're looking at my site, it's safe to say you're interested in working for a biotech, pharmaceutical, medical device or some other kind of high tech company. If that's the case, then you need to know some key things about how human resources works in the field. First of all, there is very little about HR at a big company that is remotely 'human'. At small companies, they can be useful and actually pretty good at their jobs. At big companies, they think the world revolves around them and they are the all-knowing gate-keepers into their realm. They think they know who makes a good candidate, and the reality is they do not. A coin flip will do just as good of a job as HR. The only person that can beat a coin flip is the actual manager for whom you will work (and barely at that). If you're lucky enough to interview with this scientifically knowledgeable human being, then you've already passed the HR mountain of despair. If you aren't so lucky as to get past HR without having to do one of their BS interviews, then are you in for a treat. They will hit you with a bunch of questions such as 'tell me about a time when you were faced with a conflict'. They ask these questions because they don't know how to interview people for technical jobs. They have no clue what protein purification even means, so with nothing else to ask, they use these questions, which tell them absolutely nothing about you. They then interpret the crap out of whatever you told them and basically do a subconscious coin flip to decide if they like you. What can you do? It's not a question of 'can', it's a question of what you must do. You must tell them what they want to hear. That is the only thing you can do to get past them, because HR is just an obstacle between you and the person who can hire you. A good strategy is to look around online for lists of canned HR questions. Draw up rehearsed responses, memorize them for the most part, and execute. This is very easy during a phone interview. A strategy I have used is just typing up about eight sheets of all my canned answers. These shouldn't be fully written out, but rather title an answer in bold, then use bullet points to make key points, like this: Work Conflict -at Genzyme -boss assigned small project, I did it, co-worker took credit -talked to co-worker to resolve issue, would've went to boss if didn't work Simple, right? Just fill in fluff between the bullet points, and draw out the answer. If you have real answers from your experience you can use for these BS questions, do it, otherwise just make something up. This isn't a test of whether you would be good at the job; it's pointless screening questions. (Note: When talking about your actual qualifications, don't make stuff up!) Create a scenario and tell them what you would do if you found yourself in that situation. These questions are just to weed out naive people who don't know that you're just supposed to say the right thing. So if you have that list in front of you, for the most part you should be good. Occasionally they will pull one out of left field. Nothing you can do but wing it. Envision what they want to hear and create the story around it. You will never again have to recount this story so it doesn't really matter what you say. But again, don't include details about the time you were running four bioreactors if you've never actually run a bioreactor. Another thing to keep in mind, is don't ever answer 'no' or 'I can't think of a time I blah blah blahed'. This creates what I would call a feeling that the interview isn't going well. This cannot happen if you want to get to the Promised Land. To repeat, these tactics should only be used when answering BS, canned HR questions. If you try to BS your way through a technical interview, you're toast. -BPG June 30, 2011 |
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